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Relationship counselling agencies report that a growing number of couples are now seeking help due to infidelity online or to one partner accessing adult websites.

How much of a problem it is, depends on the degree and type of access and what it means in the context of the marriage.

Up until this, I thought things were okay in our marriage, though of course we haven’t had much couple time with the demands of four children but this discovery has come as a bolt out of the blue.

It wouldn’t have been as bad if he was just accessing porn, as I know men do this, but the fact that he was talking to other people has really disgusted me.

Take some time out together You can also take action at home to improve your marriage on a daily basis.

For example you can prioritise a daily talking time with your husband when you share how each of you are doing.

There is a big difference between a person occasionally viewing pornography with the knowledge and even involvement of their partner to a full-blown betrayal and using adult websites to start affairs with other people.

Like many problems, it can start innocently at first, with a person visiting sexually titillating sites perhaps out of boredom or a seeking escapism but then it can escalate to other behaviours, such as directly communicating with other people online and over time can become addictive and harmful.Real intimacy is created in everyday communication, in the nitty-gritty of sharing a life together and in the hard work of resolving conflicts and accepting the other person as different to you.If you want to talk to someone or feel like talking to a strangers on a free chat app.Voice and text chat apps like Slack and Discord allow specific groups to communicate together, and social network apps like Twitter have a built-in chat interface.Even dating apps like Tinder have built-in chat clients that allow you to meet and chat with potential romantic partners, although on Tinder at least the main goal of being in the chat is to get someone’s number so that you can chat outside of Tinder.My husband is a great father and has always been very hands-on with the children who really love him and I don’t want to end up separated.