Of course, women of all races have to deal with BS online. But women of color lack that extra race-based privilege, which can cause some mind-bogglingly stupid reactions from people in the online dating world."As a plus-size black woman attempting to find a suitable mate or at least a date, the results can be pretty sad," Christian S., 30, a Dallas, Texas-based fitness blogger and the creator of The Plush Cyclist, tells SELF.She's tried out Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Ok Cupid, and Maya, based in New York City, works in the racial and economic justice spheres, specifically when it comes to gentrification.
They see my delight in swiping, an activity most of them find boring or even disheartening at this point, as refreshing.But I've never actually been on a dating app as myself, a black woman. Yes, online dating seems fun from where I'm standing, but I think doing it as a woman of color would damage my faith in humanity.The clip is a great summary of so much annoying racial asshattery. All of the above isn't to say that race-related comments upset every woman who deals with them. Monica K., 26, an Asian woman in Baltimore, Maryland, hasn't come across these situations when online dating.But guys have approached her in person to say things like, "I've never had an Asian before." "It's like I'm a Pokemon card," says Monica.In contrast to black women, who every racial group except black men rated as less attractive than average, all the men in the study rated Asian and Latina women as more attractive than average.
(And all groups rated white women as more attractive than average except black men.) Of course, people finding a woman more attractive than average doesn't mean they won't be racist to her, just that they might shift gears and do it in a different way."I went on a date with a guy from Tinder who had an Asian fetish, but I didn't realize until halfway through," Jenny C., 25, an Asian-American woman in Washington, D. "He started talking about how sexy these Asian dancers were, and I also found out that pretty much every other girl he'd seen on Tinder was Asian.
An incredible clip from April of this year tackled this issue, branding it "sexual racism." Note: This is way different from having preferences.
It's about ruling out entire groups of people because of stereotypes or because you think there's no way you could be attracted to them.
"I think in the age of swiping apps, there's less ability to overtly discriminate, but there is still a lot of preference for women who meet a certain look," she explains.
Even though she's occasionally dealt with guys who went out of their way to say things like "I'm down with the swirl" (BRB, rolling my eyes for the rest of eternity), Sarah also feels like swiping apps are "pretty welcoming of diverse people," especially in cities like San Francisco and New York.
Listening to her experiences makes me want to set something on fire.