And there’s no sense in ruling someone out for reasons that may become insignificant once you’ve met in real life.‘Only show me people without children’ ‘Only show me men over 6ft 1in’ ‘Only show me vegetarians’ ‘Only show me people who don’t want kids’ The tick-boxes on many dating sites are a common part of the structure of the sites – and people often fill them in and make their choices quickly, based on in-the-moment gut feeling, prejudice or a past bad experience.Pros: Free to join and to have limited contact with members.
Yet many friends of mine who had previously ruled out anyone with children on a dating site are now happily dating (or married to) single parents they met in real life.With judgemental tick-boxes they would have filtered out the very person they are in love with now.Another friend is about to marry the short, bald banker with absolutely no ‘online dating’ message-type chat she met at a party.As a 5ft 9in glamorous cocktail type who says she hates bankers, she freely admits she’d have swiped right past him on Tinder or blocked him on Match – and he may well have done the same.It seems unavoidable that if we have filters and tick-boxes for features and likes or dislikes, we could be cutting off literally thousands of potential suitors because of something we might have thought minor or irrelevant if we met in the flesh.
And, by the way, the tick-box that chooses whether you’re shown people with children or not can have an even more dramatic result, with 90% of the people I asked (a straw poll of 10 in the office) saying they’d chosen not to be shown people with children.
But too many filters and rigid check-boxes can have you dismiss huge numbers of people at once – something that apps like Bumble, Happn and Tinder tried to do away with (though that brings its own set of issues).
One 5ft 10in friend reports she saw only 400 potential men to browse when she logged in to
This week marks the biggest online dating week of the year (combined with the biggest divorce week of the year).
Whether it’s a failed relationship or the urge for a new beginning that has propelled you into the dating wilderness, online dating almost certainly has someone waiting for you. Match group now owns Tinder, Plenty Of Fish, Ok Cupid and, of course, Match, making it the biggest player in the online and app dating industry.
The price and process mean only the dedicated remain – but equally, can lead to people dropping out mid-process.