Just be thankful that someone who cared so little about your feelings made an effort to cut themselves out of your life.
I think we’ve all done it for one reason or another, but I’m here to tell you that it’s not big and it’s not clever. Ghosting is the new fangled term for an old trend of avoidance in the dating world and it really is a shame that this has to happen but alas, here we are. It doesn’t matter that you’ve been seeing each other on the reg because you haven’t say down and had “the talk” yet, therefore you aren’t official, so you’re pretty much in relationship limbo – a state of commitment confusion that’s ignored because, well, it’s the honeymoon period and you’re having far too much fun to focus on the particulars. You aren’t officially boyfriend and girlfriend so if one (or the other for that matter) decides that they just aren’t that into you, rather than “breaking up” or having the balls to say it, they simply cut you out of their life. When the texts, the meet ups, the reciprocal romance and the phone calls suddenly diminish into thin air, chances are you’ve been ghosted. When that bond becomes broken, feelings get hurt and the guard you’ve worked so hard to drop slowly starts to work it’s way up again.
Think of a time when you’ve been dating someone you find incredibly attractive in all ways, only to have them disappear after a few dates. I mean, 9 times out of 10, you’ll be left wondering whether it was actually real – whether you dreamed the whole charade – but you didn’t, and that’s the cruel reality of ghosting. Of course, the natural instinct is to assume that if you get ghosted once, chances are you’ll get ghosted again, and again, and again, so why on EARTH should we trust people, emotionally invest or take anyone’s word for golden?
Remember, you’re a bloody gem and you deserve to be treated like one, but more importantly, with respect.
The sad truth is that it’s become a ‘thing’ now and it’s always going to happen, so if it does, don’t take it too personally.
But I still had hopes that I would work it out – I even decided to make a challenge out of it.
I mean, how could a young, fairly attractive and relatively intelligent girl like me stay single in a city full of hot, interesting and like-minded people?
Generally speaking, the warning signs of a ‘ghoster’ are fairly recognisable – they’ll vanish from dating apps, they’ll start a trend of ignoring your texts, they’ll always be busy if you want to make plans, they keep communication short and simple, they may even cut dates short.
The amalgamation of any of these acts tends to suggest that the person you’re dating just isn’t into you, so don’t be afraid to bring it up or even call it a day from there yourself.
Unfortunately, it didn’t take me long to realise that things weren’t going to go as smoothly as I had expected.
I turned to my smartphone as soon as I arrived in Berlin, to make sure I wouldn’t lose too much time out of the game.
My dating spree has introduced me to the good, the bad and the ugly of the Berlin dating scene.