I once thought I'd fallen in love with an adorable lawyer who started chatting with me while we waited at a crosswalk in Manhattan.
" My response was my standard one: "Get back to me in three months." If I've learned one valuable thing from the dating whirligig I've been on for the last six years (give or take six months here or there), it's that you must wait at least three months before getting excited about the long-term possibilities of a new person.
The Frisky: 30 things every woman should quit doing by 30 I don't want to sound cynical or jaded.
I think it takes about three months to strip away the layers and start to see this person for who they really are. " The more and less obvious discoveries about another are made in that three-month period. Do they want to hang out once a week or six times a week and does that mesh with what you want? If everything is still coming up roses, maybe I'll dance a jig with you.
I can't even count the number of times that I or a friend started dating someone and days or even weeks later found out there was something seriously messed up about him. " "Oh, you just got out of a 10-year relationship last week? That's stuff you need to know before you move forward. But it might take me six months to a year before I'm buying this "my future husband" business.
Instead of seeing the person objectively, you see them for who you want them to be. The Frisky: 10 best tips for dating online With all the disappointments that can come along with dating, I say why bother getting yourself in a tizzy about someone who could be a Russian spy?
Your object of desire is laden with fantasies and projections. That's why I always say to myself, to my friends, and to you, single people, check in after three months and tell me how great the new person you're dating is.
“The unhealthy individual either has a type that is too specific and narrow—' I want someone between 30 and 35 who loves the outdoors, is really close to his parents and siblings'—or, conversely, too broad and vague—' I just want someone nice,'” Meyers says.
Instead, be realistic about what you want in someone, not what you want from their age.
Think of 10 years as a general guideline, but be open to other ages as well—and don’t limit yourself to dating only someone older.
"' Cast a wide net' is what I tell all my clients,” Sussman says.
We continued to date until, eventually, our lifestyles proved drastically different.