This might not be important to you, but it might be. Why: The main point here is not to jump to assumptions about your date's politics. Why: If your date is exploring a relationship with someone else you might want to push pause at the end of your first date but offer them the opportunity to get back in touch with you if the other relationship doesn’t work out. Especially in the age of internet dating, people sometimes meet multiple people they’re interested in around the same time. Why: This will tell you about your date’s preferences and also if they're someone who tends to reflect on experiences and can talk about their thoughts. Why: Tells you something about whether they seek out new experiences. What are your thoughts about the upcoming election (any upcoming election)?
You can read my prior articles for Psychology Today here. Why: Helps you plan future dates but also gives you an opportunity to choose not to pursue dating someone who has very incompatible food preferences from you. Purchase my book The Anxiety Toolkit You can get an email alert whenever Dr Alice Boyes writes a new blog article - Subscribe. And talking about the same old things can get tedious.A little while back I started keeping a list of cool and interesting questions to ask a guy in an attempt to avoid awkward silences and generic conversation. On a first date go for a friendly tone rather than an intimate tone when asking this question. Don’t be afraid to change plans if you arrive at a restaurant and find it’s too noisy for a good conversation.
Why: This shows you're considerate of other people's comfort. Why: If they still live with their Mom or they live with 10 roommates, this tells you something about how they like to live.
Find out early if there are reasons that “making it work” will be fraught. Select a few of these questions rather than attempt to ask them all on the same first date! For example, if one person likes to take very long trips and the other person has a more standard two weeks vacation time. If asking this question leads to five solid minutes of them complaining you'll know the person sees the glass as half empty. Why: When you enter a relationship with someone you’re also entering a relationship with their friends. Why: If one of you doesn't like pets and the other has 3 dogs, that's likely to be a problem.
Also, if anything out of the ordinary has happened that might be affecting your date’s mood, it’s good to factor this in. Also, it’s nice to give your date an opportunity to answer a question that isn't directly about them.
We need to work to pay the bills and we don’t really have a choice.
We try to choose a job we’ll like, but not working just isn’t an option.
It’s to see them as a blank pice of paper and see how they fill in the blanks.